Music Review: The Night Before Christmas

David Hasselhoff, “The Night Before Christmas” (Edel Records, 2004)

As seen in many forms of popular culture, unmasking the fraud behind Santa Claus’ beard is the best method to spoil Christmas. Yet, David Hasselhoff has discovered a more effective way to stomp on our holiday spirit with his album, “The Night Before Christmas.” While Hasselhoff’s voice isn’t terrible, there is something unintentionally hilarious about the knight rider singing you a Christmas carol.  Combined with the sloppy and awkward musical composition, this 14-track record taints Christmas memories like bird crap on the windshield of a new Ferrari.

Presenting itself as a concept album, the opening track introduces the listener to Hasselhoff reciting “Twas the Night Before Christmas” in order to sing his two daughters to sleep. Accompanied by howling wind and voice echoes, this spoken word piece establishes an eerie mood that is more appropriate for Halloween than Christmas. By the end, the structure proved too ambitious as the story is slowly forgotten and eventually ignored. This haphazard production is a consistent theme apparent in the following tracks.

Throughout the album, Hasselhoff pulls out all the bells and whistles - literally - as those instruments are on ten of the 14 songs. In fact, they are the only instruments featured on “Deck the Halls” and “Joy to the World.” Obviously, Hasselhoff is not familiar with the word, overkill. Yes, chimes are synonymous with Christmas carols but their pervasiveness inadvertently evokes a feeling of Hasslehoff trying to hypnotize his listener. However, “The Night Before Christmas” isn’t a one-man show. On some of the songs, Hasselhoff is accompanied by a chorus that seems to sporadically interject whenever they feel like it. When listening, one can’t help but feel that the album was thrown together. This only supports the idea that Christmas albums are corporate ploys designed to sucker a few bucks out of some fool. Nevertheless, that superficiality doesn’t stop the Hoff. On “Silent Night,” he interrupts the middle of the hymn with a reminder to celebrate Jesus’ birthday. As well intentioned the message might be, its seriousness is diminished by such lackadaisical production.

Judging from the album, Hasselhoff seemed hell-bent on destroying any Christmas song in his path. For example, “Jingle Bells” is arranged as a 1950s rockabilly composition sung by a Buddy Holly wannabe. The track rests uncomfortably beside the solemn “O’ Holy Night” and creates a jarring transition. Looking on the bright side, Hasselhoff demonstrates potential for a career in international relations. For example, he transports us to Germany with “Stille Nact” and, on the eleventh track, takes the listener south of the border with “Feliz Navidad.” Why this song came complete with auto-tune remains a mystery. But, one thing is for sure: if an eggnog-fueled uncle hasn’t dampened the mood at your family’s Christmas party, popping this CD into the stereo will definitely do the trick.

Movie Review: The Searchers

 

“The Searchers” (Directed by John Ford, 1956)

John Ford’s western flick, “The Searchers,” influenced filmmakers such as David Lean, Steven Spielberg and Martin Scorsese. Yet, the significance of this cultural touchstone is often soft-spoken. Perhaps the cowboy genre, which is typically regarded as simple fun, plays a role as to why some underestimate the movie’s cinematic value. Nevertheless, the cinematography, lead performance and direction create a film that rivals most classics.

“The Searchers” follows the story of Ethan Edwards, a Confederate veteran, who returns to his brother’s ranch and discovers his family murdered by Comanche Indians. When Ethan learns that the tribe kidnapped his youngest niece, Debra, he embarks on a five-year long rescue mission with the help of his adopted nephew, Martin (Jeffery Hunter), to bring her back home. However, Martin soon questions Ethan’s true intentions behind his revenge-driven quest. Does Ethan wish to safely return Debra or does he ultimately intend to kill the brainwashed girl?   

Certainly, John Wayne’s performance as Ethan captures the essence of an anti-hero. In fact, his role would provide the foundation for Robert DeNiro’s character, Travis Bickle, in “Taxi Driver.” Unlike most western films of the time, “The Searchers” doesn’t define a clear good guy. Although the audience witnesses moments that showcase the protagonist’s internal vulnerabilities, Ethan’s hardened exterior is bruised by bitterness, brutality and racism. Wayne’s ability to extract the audience’s empathy for such a callous figure demonstrates his remarkable skill as an actor. Surely, great dialogue boosts any performance and the fact that the line, “that’ll be the day,” would be embedded as a pop culture catchphrase is a testament to the script’s achievement. However, Wayne’s telling facial expressions is what places this performance above his peers. A single glance of sorrowful reflection offers more insight to Wayne’s character than any line could.

Despite the captivating lead performance, “The Searchers” is just as much about the land as it is the protagonist. From snow-blanketed fields to sun-beaten deserts, the cinematography captures a terrain equally as brutal as Ethan Edwards. The composition of panoramic horizons, skyscraping plateaus and winding canyons at times dwarfs the characters on screen. Without a doubt, the film’s style set a benchmark that would go on to inspire David Lean’s “Lawrence of Arabia.” The camera’s apparent adoration for a time period not yet ravished by the steel and cement of contemporary America helps mythologize a piece our historical culture.

           

Known for his frugal methods of film making, Ford’s direction restricts the movie’s style from overriding its substance. Amazingly, the number of close-ups and quick cuts can be counted on one hand. Unfortunately, today’s moviegoer, who is used to nausea-inducing shaky cams and rapid-fire edits, might be discouraged when viewing the film. However, instead of taking a backseat, Ford’s economical style helps heighten the story’s suspense. For example, the tracking shot on Lucy screaming as she realizes her family is about to be attacked stands out as a moment of true terror. The audience recognizes the importance of the shot because the film isn’t diluted in a sea of other stylized camera tricks. Instead of reveling in the moment, the director’s display of patience serves the quality of the movie as a whole.

“The Searchers” demonstrates all the elements of a great Western film while offering the audience something more. Hidden within a genre defined by shootouts and horse chases is an examination of human nature. The beautiful cinematography, awe-inspiring lead performance and masterful direction combine to provide the viewer with a true work of art. Keeping all this information in mind, it’s no wonder “The Searchers” influenced so many of today’s filmmakers.

Television Review: Party Down

“Party Down” (Season 1, Episode 1: “Willow Canyon Homeowners Annual Party,” Starz)

If television serves as a window to our culture, then the barometer sitcoms use to measure how society operates needs to be fixed. In no way does the traditional TV program offer an accurate view of our world. So, when a show like “Party Down” comes around, it sticks out like that shiny toy buried underneath your bland cereal. Going against the mainstream, “Party Down” rewards its viewers with real people facing real problems. It also doesn’t hurt that the show is tremendously funny.

Set in Los Angeles, the often politically incorrect but steadily hilarious pilot episode introduces us to Henry Pollard played by Adam Scott. For a majority of his life, Henry struggled to make it as an actor. Despite his efforts, his career amounted to no more than a commercial. Downtrodden and tired, Henry gives up on his dream and joins the catering company, Party Down. There, he meets his ragtag group of co-workers.

Unlike typical sitcoms, this cast is comprised of characters either jaded or delusional. Akin to Henry’s younger self, these caterers are convinced that they are destined to be stars. As a result, every employee on the staff acts as though the job is beneath them. It’s not surprising to see how poorly they perform their duties - that is, if they perform them at all. They’re usually too busy getting high in the company van or convincing each other that method acting includes shaving your eyebrows. This total lack of concern not only delivers laughs but also helps create the show’s dynamic relationships.

As the leader of the team, Ken Marino plays Ron Donald, a boss who cares too much and works too hard for a dead-end job. Unfortunately, Ron is inept at controlling the group and is tremendously clueless. For example, he recently returned from a seminar where he learned that the term “Mexican” is, in fact, not offensive. Certainly, this resistance between egos plays a major role in creating comedic tension.  

However, a more esoteric element provides the program with its unique perspective. Underlining these comedic scenes is a layer of sadness. Themes of delusion, hopelessness and cynicism surround the characters. The show’s gloomy tone is not meant to demean the characters’ positions but offer the viewer a sense of empathy. Judging from the pilot, the creators don’t wish to convey the idea that everyone gets their happy ending. Rather, the message to take from this episode is that not everything works out like you dreamed. At first glance, the show may seem depressing for the average TV audience but, if you are looking for something different among the standard rehash of sitcoms, “Party Down” can be your oasis.